Monday, May 3, 2010

"Mrs. Bridge" and Betty Friedan

I have long heard about the twin novels, "Mrs. Bridge" and "Mr. Bridge," by Evan S. Connell, but somehow never got around to reading them. I have now just finished reading "Mrs. Bridge" (North Point Press, 1981, but originally published in 1959). It is the story of a traditional wife and mother in the mid-20th century, living in the American Midwest (Kansas City) and married to a busy, ambitious lawyer. Her story is told through a series of brief episodes ranging over her adult lifetime. The tone is straightforward, flattened, matter of fact, undramatic. Mrs. Bridge attempts to be a good, correct wife, mother and citizen of her city and country. Her interests and intellectual pursuits are limited, and her few attempts to branch out in that regard - such as trying to learn Spanish, or considering voting Democratic in one election - usually fizzle. Her relationship with her husband and children seems loving but - despite her efforts - somehow distant. She often wonders - but discusses only with one or two close friends, one of whom commits suicide - why her life seems to rush by with so little sense of meaning or fulfillment. "She could not get over the feeling that something was drawing steadily away from her"(p. 63), and as her servant Harriet does all the housework, she feels useless and "so often dismally bored" (p. 64). "She spent a great deal of time staring into space, oppressed by the sense that she was waiting. But waiting for what? She did not know" (p. 94). Mrs. Bridge seems the classic case that Betty Friedan was writing about in her groundbreaking feminist book, "The Feminine Mystique" (1963). Friedan wrote about all the women who were isolated in their homes, from which their husbands left early every morning and to which they returned late every night. These women had little opportunity to have meaningful work outside of their homes; they knew they were supposed to be happy with their lives as wives and mothers, and were ashamed to admit to others that they often felt unfulfilled and lonely. Each woman thought her discontent must be her own burden and even her own fault, so kept quiet about her sense of desperation. The ending of "Mrs. Bridge," which I won't give away here, is a perfect (although perhaps too literal) metaphor for Mrs. Bridge's feeling of being trapped in her own life, and a vivid illustration of Friedan's thesis.
 
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