"The Husbands and Wives Club"

The focus of this book with the catchy and possibly slightly provocative title, "The Husbands and Wives Club," becomes clearer with the subtitle, "A Year in the Life of a Couples Therapy Group," by Laurie Abraham (Touchstone, 2010). The author obtained permission to sit in on the monthly meetings of five couples with a therapist, over a period of over a year, and to write about them (using pseudonyms for the participants). Observing the participants' work with their partners, the other couples, and the therapist on a wide range of issues is fascinating. The issues include sexual problems, the bisexuality of one participant, sorrow over miscarriages, financial problems, work problems, low self-esteem, control issues, communication problems, and more. Many of these problems can be at least partially traced to the patterns that played out in the participants' families of origin. I admire the willingness of these couples -- who are all basically but sometimes ambivalently committed to making their marriages succeed -- to work so hard on resolving their issues. In addition, I admire their willingness, and that of the therapist, to have a witness (the author) to their sessions and their very personal and difficult baring of their issues, needs, and vulnerabilities. Those of us who are married cannot help making comparisons with the couples' situations, and looking for helpful insights. For anyone who is married, or has been married, or is thinking of getting married, this is a riveting examination of the institution of marriage.