Courtship Letters

Looking through old files the other day, I ran across one containing letters between my husband and me in the first year of our relationship, especially from one summer when he was away for a couple of months visiting his family across the world. This was over 35 years ago, so reading the letters gave me that strange, unsettling but enjoyable “time travel” feeling. I have written here before (6/5/11) about my mom’s and my discovering old letters written to our parents by my brothers and me when we were in boarding school, and about how unfortunate it is that people seldom write letters any more. Yes, we email, and I love email, but it is not the same as receiving a handwritten letter in one’s mailbox, and then perhaps years later rediscovering the letter in one’s files or drawers. In any case, the letters between my husband and me from so long ago took me back to a time when we were young (our mid-twenties), and reminded me of the excitement, romance, and intensity of the early days of courtship. Since he and I have been together ever since, we haven’t had many occasions to write letters over the years, so these letters are very special to me.

Wedding Books on my To-Read Pile

Readers of this blog will not be surprised that one of my first instincts when a new situation comes into my life is to find a book or books about it. So when my daughter became engaged recently -- a happy event! -- I bought a few books on weddings. Now stacked on my to-read pile are books with titles such as “The Wedding Book,” “Wedding Etiquette,” and “The Mother of the Bride Book.” Even though my daughter and her fiancé are doing most of the planning, we are doing lots of consulting, and I feel I need to know what I/we should do. Strangely, it is kind of fun to read these books; it is like entering a new world. “New” because weddings are an odd mixture of tradition and new trends, and it is hard to know what the balance is these days. Also “new” because my husband and I -- many years ago -- had a very small wedding at my parents’ house, which was exactly how we wanted it, but it means I don’t have experience in planning a large wedding. I love that new experiences in life bring new areas to learn about (especially happy areas such as this one!), and what better way to learn than to read a pile of books about the topic?

"Amor and Psycho," by Carolyn Cooke

I read and very much liked Carolyn Cooke’s earlier two books (see my posts of 7/14/11 and 7/18/11). I have now read her latest book, a collection of short stories titled “Amor and Psycho” (Knopf, 2013). It is quirkier than the other two books, and has a slight feeling of a miscellaneous collection, in that the stories are very different from each other in subject and in style. Some are strong, some less so. There are a few themes running through the collection. One is serious illness, such as cancer and a brain tumor. Another is broken marriages or relationships. Still another -- an important one -- is the unassuming, matter-of-fact resilience shown by so many human beings in the face of tragedies and hardships. What I especially like about this collection is that so many of the stories surprise the reader. I love to be surprised, not just in the O. Henry “surprise twist ending” way, but in originality of plot, premise, character, and tone. There is a certain something that sometimes reaches out and grabs the reader in an “OH!” of suddenly perceiving the unexpected; it is very satisfying when this happens.

"The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox," by Maggie O'Farrell

Maggie O’Farrell’s novel “The Vanishing Act of Esme Lennox” (Harcourt, 2006) is exquisite. Esme is an odd, dreamy girl and young woman, one who doesn't conform to society’s, or her mother’s, expectations. And, like many such young women, she is quietly put away in a mental institution, and never spoken of again. Sixty years later, the hospital is closing, and her only surviving relative, her great-niece Iris, is shocked to receive a call asking her to decide what should be done with Esme, whom Iris had never heard about. The rest of the book goes back and forth between what happens before Esme was institutionalized, and what happens in the present as Iris tries to absorb this shocking information and responsibility. Gradually the two strands are interwoven. The writing is beautiful. The events of the story also, of course, shed light on an important issue: that far too many women throughout history who have not conformed, have not behaved as expected or as told to behave, have been punished, hidden, treated as mentally ill or even evil. O’Farrell illuminates this issue in a powerful way, while never subordinating her art to being didactic. This is a sad but lovely book. Highly recommended.

"My Education," by Susan Choi

I truly disliked Susan Choi’s novel “My Education” (Viking, 2013). I understand that one shouldn’t have to like a novel’s characters to appreciate the novel, but it certainly influences me as a reader if I dislike the two main characters, and I did dislike these characters. Most of the action takes place when the main character and narrator, Regina, starts a graduate writing program at a campus that sounds like Cornell, although it is not named. She is immediately attracted to a famous writing professor, Nicholas, while sleeping with her roommate Dutra, with whom she has a sort of comradely relationship. But as soon as she meets Nicholas’ wife Martha, also a professor, she begins an off-the-charts intense sexual and romantic relationship with her. Much passion, intrigue, secrecy, and drama ensues. There is much egoism, much self-indulgence. There is also, I might note, an enormous amount of out-of-control drinking. I don’t want to give away more of the plot, except to say that the second half of the story happens about 15 years later, when much has changed in the lives of all four major characters. A new set of interactions ensues, and a reasonably satisfying -- if somewhat hurried and hard to completely believe -- resolution takes place. Regina, the most unlikeable character, becomes slightly more likeable at the end, as does Martha, the other unlikeable character (to me, at least). Nicholas and Dutra are no prizes either, but seem to have more sensitivity, more thoughtfulness than the other two. Aside from the likeability issue, the novel is well written and has its good points, but I had to force myself to keep reading it to the end. When I was partway into this novel, I remembered that I had tried to read Choi’s earlier novel, “American Woman,” a twist on a Patty Hearst type character and situation, and I couldn’t get very far into that book; I abandoned it after a few chapters. So for whatever reason, apparently Choi’s novels and my tastes do not match up well. However, I freely acknowledge that I can see why other readers might like her work.

"The Life All Around Me, by Ellen Foster," by Kaye Gibbons

Kaye Gibbons’ loosely autobiographical 1987 novel “Ellen Foster” was extremely well received. It told the very sad story of a young North Carolina girl, aged about nine to eleven during the course of the story, whose mother was ill and then died, and whose father was both alcoholic and abusive. Ellen was somehow, despite her difficult situation, smart and resourceful, and kept trying to find someone to give her a home. Various relatives and strangers did so temporarily, but she had mostly bad experiences with these substitute parents until she found a kind foster mother. I read that novel when it came out, and remember it as powerful. The voice of the young Ellen is unique. I have now just listened on CD to a sequel, “The Life All Around Me, by Ellen Foster,” published by Gibbons in 2006, and read by the author herself on the CD. Ellen is now 15 years old, and although she lives in a good home with a kind foster mother who has become almost like a “real” mother to her, she is still quite poor and still has problems. She is very precocious, works hard, wants to learn, and is bored in school. She writes to the President of Harvard, hoping to be able to study there. Meanwhile, she finds out some news about her mother’s property that may change her life. She is still loyal to her friend Starletta and to other friends, both adults and children, who have been there for her. This sequel allows readers to see Ellen’s life becoming better, which is a great gift from the author. By the end of the novel, we believe that Ellen has a bright future. This young woman continues to be a resourceful, kind, smart, and true-to-herself character. At the end of the CD, there is an interview with the author, in which she reveals that she plans to write further sequels about Ellen’s life. I look forward to those.

On Barbara Pym

As readers of this blog know, Barbara Pym is one of my all-time favorite authors. On 7/7/13, on the occasion of the recent centenary of her birth, I wrote about some of the reasons I so appreciate and enjoy her work, not to mention laugh out loud while I am reading it. Her novels are serious but also understatedly hilarious at times. I have read each of the novels at least twice over the years, but the centenary inspired me to decide to re-read all her novels yet again, this time in order of the year of publication in the UK (not necessarily in order of the years they were actually written, or of when they were published in the USA). I have re-read the first six so far: “Some Tame Gazelle” (1950); “Excellent Women” (1952); “Jane and Prudence” (1953); “Less Than Angels” (1955); “A Glass of Blessings” (1958); and “No Fond Return of Love” (1961). I will not be posting about each of these, and the ensuing novels, individually, as I have written about Pym's work before, and individual posts about each of a dozen novels might be too much. But I will point out a few more of the reasons I admire and savor Pym’s novels: She writes about the small events of everyday life, the things we actually spend most of our time on, and makes us care about them, as well as smile with recognition. She writes about a variety of love that is not often written about: the kind of innocent crushes most of us sometimes get, even when we are in relationships and even when the objects of our crushes are unsuitable; we don’t plan to do anything about them, but they add to the pleasures of life. She often has her characters quote a few lines of English poetry, which are often just slightly off-topic or misunderstood, but also demonstrate Pym’s deep knowledge of, and true love of, poetry. She writes a lot about what people eat and drink, including the ubiquitous, always-soothing cup of tea apparently so necessary to the English people (I happen to share this tea-loving characteristic with the English, and my love of tea is somehow bound up with my love of the British novel). Characters from one novel often make cameo appearances in later novels. And in a "meta" style and for fun, Pym sometimes indirectly refers to herself and her own work. For example, in one novel she refers to a novelist called Miss Pim; in another, she lists the books on someone’s bookshelf, and casually includes her own “Some Tame Gazelle.” I reiterate my urging that readers find and read one or more of her novels, so they can see why I recommend her fiction so highly. As I suggested in my 7/7/13 post, I recommend beginning with “Excellent Women.” And, incidentally, I may find I like this plan of re-reading a favorite author’s works in order, and might decide to do the same with some of my other most-cherished authors’ works. On another note: This post is my 800th on this blog.