"Bad Mother"

Berkeley writer Ayelet Waldman (whom I once briefly met at a bookstore event) believes in honesty, even when it draws harsh criticism from the public. She is famous (notorious?) for an essay in which she stated that she loves her husband, writer Michael Chabon, more than she loves her children; many people vociferously disapproved, and made sure to let her know of their disapproval. This experience, although painful to her, did not stop her from writing equally honestly and openly in "Bad Mother: A Chronicle of Maternal Crimes, Minor Calamities, and Occasional Moments of Grace" (Doubleday, 2009). She writes about motherhood, sex, marriage, co-parenting, abortion, being bipolar, work (she is a Harvard-trained lawyer who stopped practicing), being a stay-at-home mom, being a writer, the pressures that so many women face in trying to balance work and parenting, both appreciating and throwing up her hands at the exacting and unrealistic standards promulgated by "Berkeley mothers," hopes for her children, and more. Most mothers want and need to feel they are excellent in that role; it takes a lot of courage to admit publicly that although she dearly loves her children, she is not a perfect mother, and further, to detail the ways in which she is not. I should note that it is clear that overall she is doing fine, and that her children, despite some bumps in the road, are doing more than fine. This book is brave, candid, humorous, and even inspiring. It is also very readable.