"I Love a Man in Uniform"

The title "I Love a Man in Uniform: A Memoir of Love, War, and Other Battles" (Weinstein, 2009) perhaps sounds a bit flip and humorous, and that is certainly author Lily Burana's tone for much of the book. But it soon becomes obvious that humor is her way of dealing with her deep insecurities and fears. This tell-all writer (she earlier wrote a memoir about being a former stripper) and now army officer's wife becomes paralyzed by her childhood traumas, which are now exacerbated by adapting to the new customs and fears that a military wife has to endure. Not only does she fear for her husband's safety, but she initially also finds life in the military confining and claustrophobic. It is a huge contrast to her former life as a sophisticated, liberal writer, used to living in New York and other havens for artists and nonconformists. However, she gradually seeks help, deals with her fears, becomes mentally and emotionally healthier, saves her marriage, and becomes appreciative of what the military does. In other words, she learns to live her life, seeing and taking advantage of the positive aspects, and finding ways to deal with the negative aspects. As she comes to know and be supported by many other military wives, she particularly praises these quietly courageous women for their strengths and adaptability, and the way they bravely keep everything going behind the scenes. There is a certain dissonance throughout this book between the cynical, flip tone the author sporadically maintains and, on the other hand, the darkness she struggles with. But Burana comes across, ultimately, as a strong woman who faces down her fears, and doesn't hide who she is; I came to admire her. I also came to admire her husband. In addition,I found the portrait of military life, especially the depictions of living on the grounds of West Point, very interesting; the book provides a window into a life many of know little about.