"I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home," by Jami Attenberg

I described Jami Attenberg’s best-known novel, “The Middlesteins” (2012) as a “sprawling family story” (one which I very much admired and enjoyed), in contrast to her 2017 novel, “All Grown Up” (see my post of 4/5/17). Her current memoir, “I Came All This Way to Meet You: Writing Myself Home” (Ecco, 2022) has some overlaps with “All Grown Up,” such as the non-linear structure of each book, the erratic dating life of both main characters that never leads to settling down with one person (which the characters both bemoan and celebrate), and the setting (mostly) in New York City. The memoir is generously candid, sharing with readers the author’s insecurities, traumas, bad as well as good decisions, and – most of all – her clear and certain sense of herself as a writer. It took her a while to get there, and she had to struggle through many temporary jobs, many apartments, financial issues, good and bad lovers, and friends who were good but often didn’t stick in her life. Which doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy her life a good portion of the time. But she also dealt, at times, with reliance on alcohol and drugs, anxiety and depression, and other obstacles. However, once she determined to find a way, no matter what, to enact her writing dreams, she was able to do so, with slow but eventual success. She tells us that when she is writing, even when it is hard, she feels most “right,” most at peace. She also shows us how she is sustained by books, bookstores, other writers, other artists, art exhibits, and music. As mentioned above, Attenberg tells her story in a non-linear, non-chronological way, but weaves its parts together in an accessible and satisfying way.